Setting your family up for back-to-school success
For many parents, the start of a new school year holds a variety of feelings and emotions. For many it is pure excitement! Especially milestone years like kindergarten or high school. This is often coupled with some relief, that the shuffling of child care and camps is now over.
Others are sad, the new year marks another year older and closer to the inevitable nest leaving all parents anticipate. For many it is a time of great anxiety, especially if your child has experienced learning or social challenges. You may have some very significant fears regarding how the year will go, who will be in their class, and what their new teacher will be like. Finally, those who have experienced school refusal from their child, feel that each day they are holding their breath and hoping for a positive experience. The emotions run high!
Regardless of the array and variety of feelings you and your child may be experiencing. There are many things that you can control and do preventatively to help set the year up for success. Routines are most successful when initiated at the beginning of the year or new activity etc. Below are some things that many families I work with have shared that helped their family experience success at the start of a year!
Create “drop stations.” I find most teachers are pleading for children to come ready to learn each day with a charged computer and filled water bottle. As a parent of multiple children sometimes the daily task of emptying the bookbag and plugging in laptops is daunting. Decide on stations in your home where these items “live” and coach your children to place them there EVERY NIGHT! An example is a charging station for all the IPADS and Chrome books to be plugged in the same spot. A place for water bottles near the sink, maybe by a new drying mat etc. Children of all ages will require MANY reminders at first to plug in, and then grab the next morning before school! After a few weeks it should run without parental support, and the teachers will thank you for what a prepared kiddo you have!
Consider the “at school” organization. For many middle schoolers managing many classes is very challenging. Many students do not find success with a separate folder for each class. Many families I work with have shared that an accordion folder like this, labeled in class order can be very helpful. They then only need 1 folder to keep track of! Additionally a 5 section notebook like this instead of multiple notebooks is a game changer!
Start early! A few days before the start of school, practice the new routines. Have your child gradually begin shifting their bedtime. You may need to do this by waking them extra early (so hard!) a few mornings. Have them wear new shoes around the house at home first to help break in new clothing items etc.
Reach out. If your child seems to be experiencing heightened anxiety or fear regarding the school year, approach the school counselor or social worker for help! Children who have experienced school anxiety or refusal in the past may benefit from meeting their teacher or seeing the classroom prior to the “meet the teacher” day. Also, have fun experiences at the school campus to get them reacquainted. Maybe play at the school playground or walk the campus with an ice-cream cone in hand!
A picture is worth 1,000 words! If you have a child diagnosed with ADHD or on the Autism spectrum, a visual schedule for their morning routine can really help. I find all children benefit from this tool. At its core a visual schedule is simply a picture map of what needs to be done in the morning or after school, that a child can reference to help them stay on track!
Keep it light! While most parents are absolutely dying to ask their children a million and one questions about school, try to refrain. Often children want to shift their focus when they come home. This is especially important if your child has had an issue at school like bullying or learning challenges. Asking them about it can feel like an interrogation. They will share when they are ready! In the meantime try to couple the questions about school with some playful ones. Try some of these to make the conversation more interesting when you do check in!
Most importantly know that whatever you and your child are feeling about the start of the year, you aren’t alone! It is a time of joy, stress, anxiety, all of it! Don’t hesitate to reach out to your child’s counselor or your own to help learn more about any of the information shared here. And Finally, give it time! Often routines need at least 2 weeks before they feel smooth!